It's Scorpio season: A life update!
It's been a while - and it feels great to be back! Last time I saw you here, I was in a super contemplative season of life. And guess what? I'm still there, ha. This year I've experienced a lot -- I traveled back to Costa Rica, back to Hawaii, went to Burning Man (my first real burn!), released people out of my life, welcomed new people into my life, and man-oh-man has it been a rollercoaster. As I approach my 33rd year, I'm reminded of not only how precious life is, but how precious our relationships are, including the one with ourselves.
If you remember from earlier this year, I hosted a vision board party, and I look at the one I created often. It's crazy to see that pretty much everything on the board resonates, has come true, or is currently happening. Like clockwork, what we manifest comes true - and that is both a scary + powerful conclusion that I have come to so strongly this year.
Since 26, I've been grinding + hustling, hustling + grinding -- and for the longest time, I loved that lifestyle. But as I approach my mid (gulp) 30's, I find that a more peaceful lifestyle is one that I desire. More play + less work, more time for self-care... and thanks to the Leilani Method, the infrastructure I have built, my business no longer needs me 24/7. It's kinda crazy to write that, but it is the most empowering feeling.
This year for the first time EVER since I started my company in 2016, I stepped away from my business for a week, and 5 of those days I didn't have wi-fi at all. It's hard to explain it, but if you have a business you know -- leaving your business for a week feels like leaving your child for the first time with their grandparents. It felt SO GOOD though - and a huuuuuuge shoutout to my operations manager is in order for providing that safe container, and for proving that I could trust her to run things on that level. I have never ever trusted anyone with my child (ha!) like that before. This was huuuuuge for me because it was not only a testament to how far my business has come, but how far I have come personally.
In other news, we haven't officially shared, so I'm not going to say too much now, but I've decided to take my business in a slightly new direction - this change feels empowering + amazing + exciting + RIGHT -- so that's how I know that it's the right move. It's something that when I think about should have been done years ago, but everything happens in diving timing, right? More to come on that soon!
What I've realized this year is that it's ok to feel stuck. I think at some point in everybody's life they feel that stuck-ness, and it's a breaking point. Will you crumble + give up? Or will you fall, fall hard - then brush yourself off + reach that highest potential? In all honesty, I did not think this would ever happen to me. My ego was strong, and I thought I was invincible but it happened - and in some ways is still happening - and the experience has humbled me.
I'm not going to sit here + write to you and say that everything is perfect, I have no doubts, and that I have all of the answers. FAR FROM - but I am finding the power that comes with owning that truth, and I am more than fine with it. Once you realize that YOU have the power to change your situation, it all changes. It's a scary thought at first - almost like having all that power is overwhelming - but once you understand it, internalize it + accept it for the gift that it is, you're off to the races, and will achieve your wildest dreams.
My goals are big, so when I really think about it, it's inevitable that I wouldn't get out unscathed. But as they say - if you aren't scared of your wildest dreams, are they even big enough?
In the past, I have been SUPER transparent about my love life - I found it fun to entertain you with my crazy dating life stories. But as I grow + evolve, I find that I value privacy more than anything. I can see this changing in the future, but the season that I'm in is one that values a little more privacy. All I really want to share about this realm of life is that my most recent love is one that has changed me: It has helped me discover parts of myself that I did not know about before, and accept parts of myself that perhaps in the past I was too ashamed to face headfirst. I am grateful. Keep your heart open, and love will find its way in.
Longer sleep + spending more time in has become my holy grail. I've actually become a bit of a homebody - it feels good to say "no thanks" to social events, and choose to spend more time with myself.
That in turn means that I'm drinking less alcohol. Going to bed earlier. Doing my skincare routine in full every night. Finding more time to read + meditate.
I must admit that I have not been on my a-game when it comes to exercise + yoga, but I am giving myself grace - once you come to terms with the fact that we are only human, it releases a lot of shame, guilt + pressure. And as competent as you may think you are (I am sooo guilty of this!) simply put - we are not superhuman. And once you admit + accept that, life gets a whole lot easier.
All photos are by VURACIOUS, Stephanie Vu.